Picture it...we are having lunch at an upscale, organic, farm harvest restaurant in Downtown Chattanooga, TN. The tables are adorned with cloth napkins and fresh floral arrangements decorated with sprigs of fresh dill. The servers are dressed in all cotton, probably organically grown and fair traded, loose fitting blouses and skirts. Surrounding us are tables of socialite ladies, meeting for luncheons, talking about committees and chairs, as they nibble on field greens and a half sandwich while sipping a glass of chardonnay.

For a moment it felt so good to do something adult-like, in the sense that macaroni and cheese wasn't offered on their menu. We dined on fresh hummus, artichoke hearts, and an organic mixed green salad with a balsamic vinaigrette reduction. The taste was divine as we washed it down with a pomegranate infused citron martini (to take the edge of the sweltering hot mugginess of the outside weather). Senia Mae sat happily across the table coloring as the seafood bisque was delivered with a plate of local farmed grilled root vegetables. She took several bites of her french fries and left her grilled cheese on multi-grain untouched as Mommy and I divulged our senses, enjoying every morsel of what was being placed in front of us. The flavors were heavenly and my mouth was happy, happy, very happy.

About this time our little three year old decides that she no longer wants to sit at the table. She proceeds to get out of her chair and walk around the side of the table standing in the aisle in between Kim and I. Our taste buds were still reveling in the glory of the delightful dinner we were having and apparently we were not offering her enough attention so she started singing. At first I was singing with her "I love you, a bushel and a peck, bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck", but that was not what Senia Mae wanted to sing.

"How does that song go?" she whispers quietly. Scratching her head thinking, she started swaying her bottom sideways in the aisle, her form of rhythmic dancing, as she starts sputtering "shorty had the apple bottom jeans, the boots with the fur...and the whole club was looking at her..." I laughed so hard I almost spit out my bread as Kim was trying to stifle her own laughter. Of all the places to sing that song!

Anyone knows that once the child realizes that the behavior is funny, even though it may be severely inappropriate, there is absolutely no turning back. She started in on Robin Thicke's Blurred Lines muttering "Your a good girl...I know you want it" as I led her quickly by the socialite women to finish her song in the parking lot. It was hard to contain my laughter, so of course she kept on, going into the full blown version on the sidewalk. At this point I knew our fancy lunch was over.

Kim paid the bill while I tried unsuccessfully to stifle the sounds coming out of our young little performer. The waitress smiled apologetically as we got the heck out of there, dodging the disapproving looks from the other diners who apparently thought toddlers should be singing nursery rhymes. I wanted to stop and mention that we do teach her good things but figured the damage was already done and we should just exit as gracefully as we could, before we started to look like worse parents to the whole restaurant.

The good news is that when you are dining out of town you will never see those people again, and that folks is why at home we only visit family friendly restaurants!